turning point

don't you dare call me that, i am not yours, and you had 14 years to prove it. forgive, but not forget. i remember. it's too hard to get used to this. you ruined me i fixed it and dont ruin me again by trying to fix whats not broken anymore. i'm sorry. or am i? i'd say it straight to your face but hell, i can't. im sorry that i have to be an angsty teenager right now. but this is what i am and you will never be part of it, im sorry but. thats the way things are for me. i'm not searching for you anymore. maybe im searching for the figure but it isn't you. i don't know you. i'm not going to get used to this.

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the gigil is starting to take over again. haha. and i dunno whats going on, with me, with those people i care about, with life, with everything. i mean. something. wtf is wrong with me?? infinity seems to be a long time from now.

but i still want those million trillion lifetimes with you. you know. you who seems so far.

wtf, im being a deranged crazy girl once again. you're not suppsed to care btw.

BACK TO REALITY.

it's 2:16 am and we cooked spagghetti. idol. go bo. after this i'll shower pa. ate ming's on the phone. perfect i'll have someone up to wait with me while my hair dries. i think. or maybe i'll just skip sleeping today. what else.

i have become a paranoid weight conscious girl. i'm thin. i'm not supposed to be. vanity is our generation.

i hope bo wins tomorrow. though i wouldn't really mind if carrie did. it's american idol for God's sake. not philippine idol. why am i even caring!! haha. listening to straylight run. existensialism's pretty. i'd want to end this with it.

oh yeah i was asked kanina what if i died. i guess that it would be nice if the rest of the world died with you. i guess no death is selfish except suicide. it's sad to thinl that the world's going to keep on spinning even when you're decaying.

:: you would kill for this ::