bad things always happen when you wake up 3am because of your period. and you can't get back to sleep and you have classes at 6:30. after that my views get all lopsided, all negative..you take things as criticism, you see only the test in which you got a low score and not the one you perfected or almost did. you compare your low scores to your bestfriend's high one. you see only all the homework you have to do, the things you're obliged to and not the ones you've been waiting for. i hate negative energy and i hate the way i have to keep it to myself, the way i'm scared of telling people the way i really feel because i'm afraid it'll be a burden for them. i can't even tell my bestfriends. what kind of screwed up ideal is that? you're supposed to tell your friends. not the draft section of your blog, or the piece of pad paper in chem with the stupid poem and tranced words.. or your labrador. or even your mom. i mean wtf. whatever happenned 6 or seven months ago should be a memory right? right? so why isn't it? well it is, sorta. i guess togs was right, things like that won't go away, it can but there'll be that space or spot however cheesy that may sound, the one that gives you goosebumps still. shivers up your spine. it's a sick cycle and you have to hope it gets into that 645 degree angle that we were talking about before. okay whatever i'm talking about has evolved from waking up 3am to the past. my gawd.

raging hormones. my. excuse. for being this way. sometimes. i wish i could use that reason forever so i don't have to grow up too much.