random effed up stuff

the things swimming in my mind right now

prom is just around the corner. i can feel it, everyone's subtly talking about it, their gowns, their date, their preparation and there i was outlining the program for the nth time, and with the prom core, brainstorming and stressing over the photography, the sponsors and stuff but oh well thats the way the cookie crumbles! other than that i am learning a LOT. plus dance class is really really fun! ballroom dancing is pretty fun, just strange but fun. other than that, the constant meetings during lunch and recess, all the circulars being released and stuff. things are so ubiquitous, it's getting overrated.

i have food problems. i did research on something something and everything points to me lacking fat. GOD. i need help. eating just isn't my thing. and i have to eat more! acck. i'll gain weight. i know this sounds really shallow but i'm just not used to it. oh well. sounds like a resolution to me!

hmm, i think my insecurities are slowly creeping away. not completely, i think that's next to impossible, but hey i'm improving! hahaha babaw

health class. the longtest was fun. question number four. describe the man you want to build your family with. little did i realize i was just describing..random..people? hahaha it was fun and sad all at the same time. i never even thought about that before.

i wanna quit friendster but i realized it has worked hand in hand with me on those bitter nights way back. God knows what else that site can do for or against me in the future. it's an evil form of vanity that makes you insecure of people with more friends or testimonials than you. haha, not really. but it's so..self proclaimed. hahaha to delete or not to delete?

the shadow proves the sunshine. so if i'm in the shadow, i should see beyond what blocks the light and embrace my fear. i have to get up and face the music! i was thinking of that last night along with a lot of other things that were meaningful but i forget them now. hahahaha bangs!

FINALLY, after the break i was able to think of stuff. i realized that just because people do things one way, it shouldnt stop me from banging my own drum.specifically, just because..*toot* thinks that something is wrong with some of the things that i have been WANTING to do, it doesn't mean that they are wrong! and it's better to be hated for who i am than loved for who i am not.

i'm becoming badder everyday though. ackk. i should try to be good. i know that this is quite vague but man, i should try to be nicer.

it just crossed my mind right now, but i think i should be thinking more about school and not these things. haha! i liked the vacation but i realize i like school also. i like life in general nowadays anyway. strange but i guess that's the best change that happened to me. these rose colored glasses don't cost much but they are the best.

life is life! so colorful