the days pass by like flies. summer isn't at all boring. i guess perspectives change too. like people can change in a week. in 48 hours even. i now know the truth and stuff. why it happened. i can't lie. it makes me sad whenever i think of it...but i guess i have to get used to it, i'm the most disposable...i've also been mulling things over. the more i think of it, the more my head says no. and my heart too, i guess. i try not to think of it but when i do it's on the no side which is awful. it WON'T be the same again, this effort for normalcy is anything but permanent. it's so unstable.

i'm in the mood for some quiet. i watched rent. the story is beautiful. stage still better. but the story's such a tearjerker. i've made so much promises to myself which i all broke which is sad. i wasn't planning on breaking them,...just that, under the circumstances they had to happen. a sudden surge of sadness. which came after last night's fun.

i had like an angel last night. i suddenly want to pursue things that i want. i want to be a photographer. seriously, it's the only thing i can think of as of now. oh well. the indie bar we went to was sooo nice

gtg tbc