holes

i

miss

you

i wanna sleep and wake up to a place where i can be beside you everyday but you're nothing but holes now. i don't know you anymore. i wish you weren't such a stranger. it's frustrating because everything i have is still there except you and it's so annoying. i always said this summer will be all about me. i was thinking a while ago. there is no me without you. isn't that stupid? yes it is. i don't even know who i'm reffering to anymore.

it all started with yesterday. approaching people and asking to photograph them made me feel so sad. it's like, you get to know them for 5 minutes and you feel like it can be the beginning of such a beautiful friendship and in the end all you have left is a photograph. then this morning's photoshoot. mornings get me happy and today wasn't any different except i started thinking about how nice it would be to have you there. haha. i am the most pathetic person i know. i feel hole-y. holy. because i ever do is pray and i sill feel distant from God. i miss saying thank yous in place of the pleases and the "ikaw na bahala Lord"s. i'm really happy but it can never be complete, i guess. i'm doing everything i've always, always wanted except being with someone. it gets lonely at times. but like i've always been saying, romantic love is just another aspect of it all. sometimes we just want to feel what many poets have written way before us. sometimes it gets tiring.

maybe i'm destined for something else.

i wonder why i have to censor my posts sometimes. nobody actually reads this anyway. why am i feeling this wayyy its soo annoyinggggg

okay happy happy na again. haha! i was just taking a break because no matter how flat you make the pancake there will always be two sides. i'm just having a taste of the bitter side. back to happiness!