the safest place to hide

please don't be another regret.

things have been fun. i'm having an ultra kaduper hard time with the decisions i have to make. but yeah i'll have to deal with it eventually. retreat's next week and i'm so so so so psyched. 3 days away from everything. i haven't been online in a while. take it a vice at a time? kidding. i've been happy and that's what matters now. oh yeah and we might move to qc! exciting.

nothing much to write here. i'm loving every bit of everything

how do you do it?

never let a kiss fool you or a fool kiss you

eh pano na kung i could go play the fool for you? haha

finally done with my hands on, and today, we're getting free time from elective. wuhoo. that means i can do my homework. i lost my la mesa dam campaign. oh noooo.

in my to do list:

debate cross ex
get witness
signatures
physics homework
study for math lt
study for physics lt
study for the economics longtest
tape cooking shows for cc
understand the circular flow thing
write ups for yearbook
kultura't pagkaing samar
next week, study for exams.

i have the whole afternoon to do this. the rest of the week, late dismissals. oh well tacsssss. i need to fix my life. haha asa. i haven't been doing things that i've been wanting to do but it's okay, just a liiiiitle more scacrifice.

i'm in love with ana's starbelly. ella! haha. i'm going to get my student's license soon. i can't believe i'm sixteen it's so old haha crap. the days have been sooo stable and routine lately it feels weird

dear God, please help me and thank you for everything!
love, bananaman

okay what to do what to do five minutes left!

I LOVE YOU KITTY i love you so so so so mucho :) and i will hug you everyday i won't forget. sorry if i forgot today because we had a debate haha lame excuse anyhoo huuug hahahahahahaha asa :D

xbraq hahaha ANG BORING BRAD (anong brad na yan hannah di talaga bagay sayo-ana)

pregnant woman and angry man preaching from the baroque

dear you,

this is the part where we get up. it stings but it's the best part of them all.

bye bye to everything. bye bye to the big big dreams. it's time to wake up. no more dreaming of that filipino movie marathon and back to conversations in your roof and texting for far off places to feel closer to home, no more fine i'll give you roses and knowing you won't give them even if in my heart of hearts i wish you would. no more let's go stargazing sometime and seemingly boring dates with slrs which are actually adventures and no more promises. no more sensible nonsense we don' care if anyone else understands. no more i'll let you wins because you've transformed into someone jerky. no more little achievements. no more cycles of waiting, no more honesty and explanations. no more go here please i think i miss yous and no more waiting for two hours because you played dota and no more feeling like trash after even if i didn't really mind because i don't know. no more movie discussions and memorizing lines from the best poems. no more i'll save you all the dances you want and then forgetting i was there. no more tears. no more super nice conversations and floating leaves and doodles and why you don't ever reply the last. no more trying to convince you that love is true since you don't believe in it. i do. no more one hour dates and sbarro and i wish you were my valentine. no more disappointments because you barely said hi and no more you should haves and i wanted to buts. this is not giving up. this is moving on. i tried to wait. two years and we never got back to where we began. i guess i thought wrong. i'm more than that. i have better dreams now. and.. yeah. you aren't there anymore. it's good that you're fixing things. and it's good that things are fixing themselves. you taught me so much and i get it now. you aren't always right. no more looking for you in every place i go and staring from afar and then closed doors. you had me at your disposal, and you don't now. it's time to grow up..time to be sixteen. a day can make you a year older and this is my gift for myself :) besides, things are so bad but i am so so so so happy because, i don't know. i'm just happy. i wake up happy. thank you very much for everything. it's been good. sometimes letting go is non sense but it's time i did non sense. i like that. it's been a good span of time. but time isn't really time. time is how we use it. time is how we made it disappear and how we can't make it come back. and it's time now to leave. i couldn't leave because i was sad. i can now, because i'm totally alright. it took me a while to see this. love is there in so many forms, i don't need this. i don't need you. it's because i'm me. i liked you a lot. but things can change. and thankfully they do. no bad words about you here because you don't hurt me anymore. the only way out was through. and i'm through. i love this. i love everything. i love the weather. i love my mom. i love life, i love God, and since God is in you, i love you. i love stevie wonder and mig ayessa. i love my friends. i will love life no matter how hard she is on me, because it's the best way to live her.

that was a total mess but i had to get it out. this is okay. now i have to get back to living!

love,
hanni banany

SNAP SNAP SNAP

ps
i'm hella scared, i don't think i'll make it, but it won't be the end of the world, just mine haha kidding i'm trying not to think of it but it keeps coming Lord pleeeease help. thanks!