tearstears

i'm at that point in time when the hero, that would be me, stops his world in search of something more. i suddenly have that lost feeling. i guess it's always been there. it's just been amplified by the sinking in of some people not being there..and that rein's not here when i guess that since last summer he's always been there to tell me that things will be okay. i don't quite have a grasp of those things right now. haha! i guess today is self assesment day. where am i? or better, who am i? who have i become?

i've been staring at that blinking line and i don't know how to answer the question i have troubled myself with. but i know i want answers. haha.

i just want to be so much more than who i am. i feel like such a failure..i know i can do more but i'm just so lazy. i really have these dreams..it's just that some things aren't in my hands.

i think i more or less know what i want. i know what i fear. i'm not sure about the things i can and can't do. i guess it just means that what i can is limitless. it's all in my head.

later..

i'm a bit sad. actually i was extremely sad a while ago but i'm happier now i guess. one of those days.

ate ming's back. it's good to know that. even if she's usually on thephone it's just great to have her back.


I MISS REIN.

this is torture.