sad day

yeah, you got it from the title. woke up feeling bad because last night, i saw something that i should not have seen. and then i remembered something that i was learning to forget, i was forgetting already. suddenly everything sank in. everything. like it suddenly became real. and i was like, sad the whole day, and everyone noticed, i'm not usually this transparent, and they were all hugging me and stuff. and it was so surreal. later on in the day, we had homeroom, recieved my merit for honors. that was a good thing, but nobody at home knows i got the merit, not yet. everyone's busy. anyway, that's fine with me, got self satisfaction. still struggling for a lot of things. and then we had glee rehearsals, which was also a good thing, but the whole day it was only him that i was thinking of. music is my passion. so that took part of the sadness away. i couldn't help myself though, i ended up doing something i told myself that i wouldn't do. and that made my whole day, even if i'm kinda umaasa lang sa wala. i texted him, he didn't reply at first, and when i was at the verge of giving up, there it was, a message. hahaha, i am such a pushover. why do i let a guy do this to me anyway? i shouldn't. i value myself too, but there's something that blinds a girl or whatever. makes me stupid and gullible and manipulatable and here i am. then when i went home, solitude in the computer and in homework, can you believe that? and now, me and my mom are having a fight because i'm such a brat. because i raised my voice when she was doubting the fact that i was doing my homework. i guess that the situation took over me, you're feeling so bad, the day sucked, you're doing homework and it's hard and then they tell you hat what you're doing is just a waste of time. i mean, yeah, it does hurt. yeah, it is my fault, i shouldn't have done that anyway, nor should i have done the things i did and now that person's gone. and now i'm left with nothing. and then something's up also in school, with my friends. i can only name three people that i'm comfortable sharing how i feel right now, and none of them are my bestfriends. i miss m and k. yeah, i feel kinda deserted. ang depressing noh? at the same time, ang petty. and i am so madrama right now. yey. miss having like, a bestfriend who listens really well.

wow, finally got that off my chest.

got butterflies, nervous breakdown saturday, yey.

crazy for yooooooooooooooooooou, touch me once, and you know it's truuuuuue, i never wanted anyone like thiss, it's all brand new, i can feel it in your kiss (asa pa ko), i'm crazy for yooooooooooooooou.