past few

really long days, i'll just put the summary here and then update it later on.

anyway, friday, went to earthaven..it was fun, it was like army school or something. haha, not exactly THE haven but good enough. bad food and bad guides..nice place. first was a boring talk then tower building for team building where there were normal people and people with defects, i was the blind person. it was fun. then we mud crawled, that was an experience!! it wasn't just mud, it was murky, murky thick mud. you couldn't see the color of my shirt after. then there was a hanging bridge obstacle thingy, that was hard as well, you had to balance in a rope and there was no protection, just another rope as a guide. the whole thing was wobbling. you had to get through three of that and then after was the tarzan swing, i fell into the water, it was funny. then we had to trek up and down a stream, mind you, a ROCKY stream, a really rocky one to the point that my classmates' slippers got a hole. someone fell into the rocks and got up bleeding i think. at first, the water was up to your ankles then later on knees, then waist, then knees again then ankles then waist then chest the neck till it reached 20 feet and you had to hold on to a rope. it was also murky water so you didnt know where you were stepping. i'd bring out my foot and then there were sea weeds of sorts and even a worm. the rocks you had to climb on were slippery. in the end when you got to the top, it was worth it. there was a magnificent waterfall, it was beautiful, took my breath away, i wanted to disappear right in it. til they told us that we had to return, passing the same route. wow. the sad part was that my body ached and i ended up with wounds here and there, and i missed someone's performance (aww) but i got a tan (as if i'm not dark enough) and a handful of skills that i can bring with me along the way.

saturday, ateneo fair, it was fun and entertaining, i was with me study buddy karmi, so lucky that she was there. we were treated properly, yeah!:D labo. special mention: sarms, daniel, francis, justin, x, neil..un, thanks from me and karmi. too bad wala si...(you decide who, hahahaha:D) met a lot of new people which was the best part. won't go into detail here. oh, me and karmi, we have a new crush. right karmi? riiiiiight. haha.

i can explain why i was SO EMOTIONAL the past few. i had pms, got it, luckily not while the fair was going on. phew! anyway, gotta split!! it's 03:13 already.

sad day

yeah, you got it from the title. woke up feeling bad because last night, i saw something that i should not have seen. and then i remembered something that i was learning to forget, i was forgetting already. suddenly everything sank in. everything. like it suddenly became real. and i was like, sad the whole day, and everyone noticed, i'm not usually this transparent, and they were all hugging me and stuff. and it was so surreal. later on in the day, we had homeroom, recieved my merit for honors. that was a good thing, but nobody at home knows i got the merit, not yet. everyone's busy. anyway, that's fine with me, got self satisfaction. still struggling for a lot of things. and then we had glee rehearsals, which was also a good thing, but the whole day it was only him that i was thinking of. music is my passion. so that took part of the sadness away. i couldn't help myself though, i ended up doing something i told myself that i wouldn't do. and that made my whole day, even if i'm kinda umaasa lang sa wala. i texted him, he didn't reply at first, and when i was at the verge of giving up, there it was, a message. hahaha, i am such a pushover. why do i let a guy do this to me anyway? i shouldn't. i value myself too, but there's something that blinds a girl or whatever. makes me stupid and gullible and manipulatable and here i am. then when i went home, solitude in the computer and in homework, can you believe that? and now, me and my mom are having a fight because i'm such a brat. because i raised my voice when she was doubting the fact that i was doing my homework. i guess that the situation took over me, you're feeling so bad, the day sucked, you're doing homework and it's hard and then they tell you hat what you're doing is just a waste of time. i mean, yeah, it does hurt. yeah, it is my fault, i shouldn't have done that anyway, nor should i have done the things i did and now that person's gone. and now i'm left with nothing. and then something's up also in school, with my friends. i can only name three people that i'm comfortable sharing how i feel right now, and none of them are my bestfriends. i miss m and k. yeah, i feel kinda deserted. ang depressing noh? at the same time, ang petty. and i am so madrama right now. yey. miss having like, a bestfriend who listens really well.

wow, finally got that off my chest.

got butterflies, nervous breakdown saturday, yey.

crazy for yooooooooooooooooooou, touch me once, and you know it's truuuuuue, i never wanted anyone like thiss, it's all brand new, i can feel it in your kiss (asa pa ko), i'm crazy for yooooooooooooooou.

in school

i'm sad today.

i'm in school. i'm not supposed to be typing this right now.

and i'm not supposed to be this sad over a guy. i promised not to

but it's sad

and i need to forget that.

and i thought i did

but i was so stupid, and read his texts last night.

and then i started missing him.

when i thought that was way over.

it was.

and i can't let him see me this way on saturday.

crud.

suddenly everyone else is in love and everyone else has their mate and i'm the only one who's alone.

it's paranoia and it's not supposed to affect me.

but it is.

and i know that time heals all things.

wish life had fast forwards.

okay, i'm being petty.

ayoko na.

studies first.

wish i had someone who'll make me forget.

haha, as if. sana may mangyaring maganda.

10 signs you're in love

1. when everything you see, you can somehow relate to him
2. when you try to be so perfect, and yet you end up being comfortable just being you
3. when you try writing your name and you put his last name with yours
4. when you start being good in the things he's good at
5. when you get the butterflies
6. when you get worried when you find that something happened to him (regardless how big that thing is)
7. when you wait all day, sometimes for nothing
8. when you're just happy for that person, even if it's not with you
9. when you can feel him near you, or remember something about him like the way he looked at you or the way he smiled
10. when he brings out the best in you without trying

10 signs you're in need of love

1. pag praning
2. pag parang nagmemenopause na kahit 14 years old palang o pag may pms kakaperiod lang
3. pag life is boring
4. pag nangsstalk ng mga cute couples
5. pag babble nalng ng babble parang schizo
6. pag nakikinig ng break up songs, di nman nakipag break
7. pag kain ng kain kahit hindi gutom
8. pag laging depressed
9. pag nagiging conceited o sariling pangalan ang nileletering sa papel
10. pag walang inspiration

food trip lang kaming tatlong conceied kanina. it was so fun. so happy that jopo got a high score in speech. failed bio test by 1 point and to think i tutored people. dammit, i am so stupid. anyway, i dont wanna fret over that. i just realized who my true friends are, i cant believe how much i've been used. why do i find it hard to stay mad at a person anyway? i am such a pushover. argh, i hate this. oh well. i cant wait for daniel to go online, i so have to spill. i'll just go on being happy, haha. someone is in deep crud.

boring entry

today was a happy day!! hahaha, it was a long, happy weekend, actually..looking forward to this year's acd..we'll be going to earth haven..that ought to be cool..ü today's morning praise wasn't that boring..after that was acd orientation, i am so excited. we had dance class also, boy ako!! yey!!ü hahaha, i can be so shallow sometimes. umm, yeah, so basically, the whole day was a movie marathon..we were supposed to watch fung shui but ended up watching spirited away for one period. then we watched anak for two more periods so three straight periods of movies. and it was good, not much academics today. the only drawback is what we have to do..two whole pages of reactions on the movie..but hey, that's way better than listening to the guy who can turn two hours into 12 hours..so there. then we had rehearsals, i was able to get a twenty minute break lang from the day, no recess nor lunch because i was in charge of the second year's class pics. but then i didn't have money either because my mom has been forgetting my allowance and i used the money to buy a fan for dance. so i have to thank ella and her mahiwagang wallet. hahaha,nakakain pa ako ng ewan ko anong tawag dun. basta i was able to finally eat. yay. ang babaw ko nga. excited for the glee rehearsals and for the ateneo fair and soph night and the concert and outreach and acd and a bunch of other stuff to be excited about.

weird fact:

"If you farted constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas would be
produced to create the energy of an atom bomb."

poems of a bored girl

FALLING ON SKIN AND BONES

you can always fall into me
i'll be here just for you
i'll do anything for you to see
that my love is true

falling into skin and bones
is more comfortable than cement
you can crush my fragile body
just so you won't land on the pavement

if you still won't fall for me
for you i'll be a cushion
i'll pig out on junk food and be a couch potato
so you'll have something soft to land on

i'll save all my money
and buy the finest fur coats
i'll wear it even if it's sunny
so when you decide to finally fall, it won't hurt

so please fall for me
even if i end up dead or bloody
i'd still be happy knowing you fell
even if the first thing you did was get up.


UNANSWERED

wonder how you are today
wonder what you did
i wonder if things went your way
i guess it's pretty stupid

i wonder how many times you smiled
or if you shed a tear
i wonder if your world is wild
i wonder how you feel

i wonder if your heart skipped a beat today
if it did, who or what made you feel that way?
maybe you got scared of God knows what
but then you couldn't tell anybody that

what if you were in pain?
you could crash and burn into me
even just a little, it wouldn't be the same
as landing on the pavement

i wonder if anyone sang with you
as you sing weird al yancovic's songs
i wonder if today yor dream came true,
if you realized something you should've known all along

and i wonder when you'll finally see
that i'll be here through and through
i wonder if you wonder about me
as much as i do for you

there..two lame poems..hahaha, you might be wondering why i'm actually posting this..just need an outlet!! okie dokie!! oh well.

today was an okay day, been sitting in front of the computer. watched meet the fockers, it was hilarious!! i discovered lotsa things today..like how hard it is to find really true friends. and how hard it is to convince people who have extremely low self esteem of their worth..sometimes it's hard to see if those people are just bringing themselves down in order for you to tell them the things they want to hear. but you do it anyway, but i feel like such a pushover. and it doesn't feel right.

hunnah

today, i learned a lot of things.

1. there are more ways than 1 to get through an obstacle course
2. time heals all things
3. have to attend social obligations
4. no matter what happens, people will still care for you
5. to each his own
6. respecting people is a really big factor of life.
7. love can get you through or repress you, you choose.
8. exploding tag is cool

hahaha, that's all really. im so thankful right now. wlalang. i dont get myself sometimes.

harana

uso pa ba ang harana

marahil ikaw ay nagtataka

sino ba 'tong mukhang gago

nagkandarapa sa pagkanta

at nasisintonado sa kaba

may'rong dalang mga rosas

suot na may ma-ong na kupas

at naryan pa ang barkada

naka porma naka barong

sa awiting daig pa ang minus one at sing-along

puno ang langit ng bitwin

at kay lamig pa ng hangin

sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw

at sa awitin kong ito

sana'y maibigan mo

binubuhos ko ang buong puso ko

sa isang munting harana

para sa'yo

di ba parang isang sine

isang pilikulang romantiko

di ba't ikaw ang bidang artista

at ako ang 'yong leading man

sa estoryang nagwawakas

sa pag-ibig na wagas

puno ang langit ng bitwin

at kay lamig pa ng hangin

sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw

at sa awitin kong ito

sana'y maibigan mo

binubuhos ko ang buong puso ko

sa isang munting harana

para sa 'yo

Uso pa ba ang harana?

Marahil ngayon ay alam mo na

Basta't para sa'yo aking hirang

Kahit na magmukhang hibang

Tutupdin ang lahat, liyag

Pagka't ako'y 'yong bihag

At mahal kita, sinta

hahaha, memories..love this song..im so happy right now..walang love life, masaya..walang balak..:D able to sing this song without feeling bad..:D isn't that nice?:D hahaha, oh well, got to go for cc.:D haay, moving on feels so good!:D

the name of our guppy..our test tube in biology is dog. i named it. it was destined for great things. it was destined to be the fastest swimmer in the sea or something. but out of its own stupidity, it died. poor dog the guppy. see what school does to kids nowadays. finally, it's friday. i so want to get out. who doesn't?

3 days ago, was the 1st death anniversary of my gramp and it was so sad. it was like, i was just there and i wanted to remember every bit of it. i was observing everyone the whole time, my relatives and my family to see how we all were 1 year after his death. isn't it uncanny that one moment a person is there and the next moment he's gone? it's so weird sometimes. i guess life is. i sang at the mass..luckily i didn't cry because everyone else was. i was a big transparent eyeball and i was just watching and i didn't want anyone to see me. my cousins were all there and it was fun, i guess. except for the priest. he was nice and all but he was manic. kidding. but teah, it was one hell of an experience. i wanted to write a lot of things here but once my fingers touch the keyboard everything disappears.

chronicles of me

yay, a new bloggie!! haha, my third, trying out which one works the best.